Conversations With A Two Year Old

I’ve probably said this before, but one of the very coolest things about the toddler stage is language development — watching them go from the incoherent babbling of the baby days to speaking real words, and then sentences, until one day you find yourself having actual meaningful (if simple) two-way conversations with a two year old.

With Lillian just a few months shy of her third birthday, this phenomenon has been going on for a while, becoming just another normal part of everyday life. So for today’s post, I thought it would be fun to share a few snippets of toddler conversation.

Two Year Old On Easter (Conversations With A Two Year Old)

(A random photo of Lillian taken a few weeks ago, on Easter Sunday.)

Starting in no particular order, here’s an exchange that happened one day while getting in the car:

Lillian: Mommy, buckle up! Buckle your safety belt!
Me: Okay, there. All buckled in.
Lillian: Thank you.
Me: You’re welcome!
Lillian: No! I’m not welcome! I’m Lilly!

The funny thing is that she does seem to understand the phrase “you’re welcome” and will even use it in proper context if you thank her for something, so I think this is just part of a larger pattern of being all overly literal about things.

She generally has no problem answering questions and expressing her preferences, though these sometimes tend to be exactly the kinds of impractical things you might expect from a two-year-old. For instance, one Saturday while we were out running errands, Joe and I were having trouble deciding where to stop for lunch.

Me: Lilly, what do you want to eat for lunch?
Lillian: Um… [thinks carefully for a few seconds] A cupcake.
Joe: Well, you asked a silly question.

For the longest time, we’ve had a solid nighttime routine established — bath time, milk & story time, brush teeth, bedtime — but in recent months, Lillian has increasingly been trying to stall and drag out the process. Here’s one exchange that happened before bath time:

Lillian: I’m daddy!
Me: No, you’re Lilly!
Lillian: No, I’m daddy!
Me: Ok, you can be daddy. You know what daddy would do right now? He would get in the bathtub.
Lillian: Daddy takes a bath in the morning.

She has apparently noticed the phenomenon where mom and dad take showers in the morning instead of baths at night, and was trying to use it as a clever ploy to avoid having to take a bath. Well-played, I thought — though she still ended up having to take her nighttime bath because I’m a tyrant that way.

During another bathtime, I looked away for a moment only to be splashed with a bunch of water.

Me: Lilly!
Lillian: It was a ghost.

She actually talks about ghosts a lot, which I suspect may be due to reading Curious George Goes To A Costume Party one too many times. (Either that our our house is haunted by an extremely mischievous ghost who occasionally needs a time out.)

Here’s another random exchange that happened one day while riding in the car:

Lillian: The car is broken.
Me: The car is broken? Why do you think it’s broken?
Lillian: It’s grumpy. The wheels fall off.

All I can say is, let’s hope this isn’t true!

Another interesting phenomenon has been hearing my own (sometimes contrived) excuses parroted back to me in gentle, reassuring tones. For instance:

Me: Lilly, it’s time to put on pants.
Lilian: No, I’m too busy.

Me: Lilly, come here, I need to wipe your nose.
Lillian: No, it’s too dangerous.

Me: Lilly, can I have one of those [delicious, vanilla-yogurt-covered] raisins?
Lillian: No, it’s icky medicine. [eats another]

Things like this serve as reminders that anything you say can (and likely will) be repeated at some point when there’s a two-year-old involved… Which is good to keep in mind when something frustrating happens and you’re tempted to let a swear word slip!

Anyway, these are a few of the amusing toddler conversations that stuck out in my mind, but like I said before, two-way exchanges have definitely become a part of everyday life around here. Some of my favorite conversations have been the ordinary, unremarkable ones where Lillian is just telling me about her day… which have a way of filling me with awe and disbelief. It seems like just yesterday she was a newborn. *sniffle*

Do you have any amusing “conversations with a two year old” type stories involving the sometimes-silly things little kids say? Feel free to share in the comments!