I’ve never been a big fan of blinds myself. I think part of it is that in my experience, they never seem to let in quite enough light when you just tilt the slats, and then they go wonky and crooked when you try to actually raise them up. But the other part is just an aesthetic thing. Somehow blinds just feel kind of stiff and businesslike to me, great for an office but a little out of place in the home.
That being said, I can understand the appeal of them. Like how they can be dusted and wiped clean instead of taken down and washed, and how you can adjust the amount of light they let in rather than the binary “open or closed” choice you get with curtains or shades. I can even see myself getting to like the right kind of blinds in the right kind of space.
But not the blinds we currently have in our living room. They are absolutely awful in every possible way, and don’t have any redeeming qualities at all.
That last sentence must sound like some kind of ridiculous whiny exaggeration, so I’ll try my best to illustrate why I feel this way. To start with, here’s an overview of what we’re working with:
The above photo is a straight-on view of the living room windows, taken just before we moved in. (Sorry it’s so distorted — this is actually a panorama stitched together from four separate photos, since it’s impossible to fit the whole wall in a single frame with my camera.) As you can see, the previous owners had these old off-white blinds with wide aluminum slats.
They don’t look too bad from a distance, but as you get closer, you can start to see that they have some problems. They’re difficult to open and close, for instance, and usually end up looking crooked like this at the bottoms:
And speaking of crooked, one of them is broken enough that the slats hang crooked all the way up the window:
If you look closely at the photos I posted of our Valentine’s Day window decorations, you can see that the slanty blinds are even visible from the outside, which isn’t the best look, I don’t think. And as for the broken-ness, the previous owners apparently attempted to remedy this with a clothespin:
While I admire the resourceful attempt at jury-rigging, I’m not sure the clothespin actually does anything… although to be honest, I’m a little reluctant to mess with it for fear of making things worse.
But the worst part, the part that really makes me hate these things with a passion, is the way they’re attached to the windows. How it’s supposed to work is that these square metal brackets are screwed into the woodwork, the top of the blinds slide in from the front, and then another metal piece snaps on to hold everything in place. Here’s a closeup of the side of one of those brackets:
As you might guess from the tape in the above photo, these are kind of broken too — the front pieces just don’t stay on the way they should anymore — and the result is that, if you’re not careful, the blinds will actually fall down as you’re trying to open them.
If I haven’t already mentioned, these aren’t your modern, lightweight plastic blinds. They’re heavy, old-fashioned aluminum with sharpish metal edges. As I write this, I even have a long angry red scratch on my wrist from when one of them fell on me the other day and I wasn’t quick enough about moving out of the way.
So in conclusion, our living room blinds are ugly, barely functional, and hazardous to the physical safety of anyone who touches them. And that last part is especially serious now that we have a baby — she actually turns exactly four months old today (can’t believe how time flies!) and before long, I’m sure she’ll be getting into everything.
But the good news is that after months of sitting around and looking nervously at our budget, we’ve finally gotten started on replacing these monstrosities, so stay tuned for an upcoming post about the living room windows’ fancy new look!
In the meantime, what do you think of blinds in general? Love them? Hate them? Anyone been attacked by their window treatments lately? Feel free to share your thoughts and stories in the comments.